Archive for May, 2011

I started my own business during the fall of 2003. When my business opened, I had only one employee to help me serve clients. Two months later I had the pleasure of hiring two more people. Before the economy crashed in 2007, my business employed more than thirty people. After laying off all of the individuals I had planned on working with until my retirement, I closed my business’ doors for the last time in the fall of 2010.

Until recently, I thought I had experienced the highest levels of stress during the time my business was in operation, especially when I had the displeasure of letting my dedicated staff go and revoking their steady pay, 401K contributions, and health insurance plans. Since starting my own blog, however, I have discovered that the stress of being responsible for the livelihoods of others pales in comparison to the angst of depending on site traffic to cover my own bills.

My blog was inspired by the ongoing struggle my boyfriend’s ex-wife has with borderline personality disorder, otherwise known as BPD. Jane’s mental torment has resulted in her having what can only be described as fragmented relationships with people to whom she was once close, including her ex-husband, son, parents and childhood friends. Jane’s unpredictable temper tantrums are invariably followed by desperate pleas for forgiveness and acceptance; both parts of this emotional cycle are acted out in front of public and private audiences.

My blog focuses on the impact that borderline personality disorder has on those around the individual who suffers with it. I try to provide support and advice for people trying to manage a relationship with someone afflicted with BPD. Even though millions suffer from BPD, my blog has a small audience. My site traffic seems to be as unreliable as Jane’s moods. I write that with humor not malice in my heart as I have found my moods to be a bit unpredictable these days, too. I want to make a living by writing my blog, but I’m beginning to wonder if that will ever be possible.

I am fortunate to have the support of my boyfriend who faithfully reads my blog. He sent a link to every one of his contacts, but I think the sole reader my blog picked up from his effort is his mother. I’m grateful to have the support of other bloggers I have encountered, too. I wish everyone success, but I must admit that I take a certain amount of selfish comfort from knowing I’m not the only stressed blogger.

Despite the support of my boyfriend and the camaraderie of other bloggers, my stress level has piqued in recent weeks. I wonder if my blog is too narrow in scope to appeal to enough readers to meaningfully increase my site traffic. I am concerned about my ability, or lack thereof, to support myself with my writing. I’m particularly anxious about being able to contribute to my boyfriend’s household since he lost his job last week.

I know certain authors are earning a real living—a very good living—from blogging and I’m curious if I’ll ever be one of them. I also wonder if I’ll ever make even a single one of those dollars that are so plentiful among others.

About The Author

Sally is a part-time blogger who spends her free time working out at the gym, catching rays in the tanning bed, and traveling out of the country whenever her schedule permits. Read about her active lifestyle at eatbreatheblog.com